Reports

Why am I writing this? Just as a matter of recdord, To prove I was hear and ahead of all of you. time to go.

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"he would say 'how funny it will all seem, all you've gone through, when I'm not here anymore. when you no longer feel my arms around my shoulders, nor my heart beneath you, nor this mouth on your eyes. because I will have to go away someday, far away--' And in that instant I could feel myself with him gone, dizzy with fear, sinking down into the most horrible blackness: Into death." - Arthur Rimbaud

"There is but one truly serious philosophical problem and that is suicide." - Albert Camus

"Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit." - Bill Maher.

"I just couldn’t live with myself knowing I had just killed myself." - Anon.

"When you've got nowhere to turn, turn on the gas." , Anon.

"The obsession with suicide is characteristic of the man who can neither live nor die, and whose attention never swerves from this double impossibility." - Emile M. Cioran

"Suicide sometimes proceeds from cowardice, but not always; for cowardice sometimes prevents it; since as many live because they are afraid to die, as die because they are afraid to live" - Charles Caleb Colton

"They tell us that suicide is the greatest piece of cowardice... that suicide is wrong; when it is quite obvious that there is nothing in the world to which every man has a more unassailable title than to his own life and person." - Charles Caleb Colton

“Suicide is a fundamental human right. This does not mean that it is morally desirable. It only means that society does not have the moral right to interfere” - Charles Caleb Colton

mouth on your eyes. because I will have to go away someday, far away--' And in that instant I could feel myself with him gone, dizzy with fear, sinking down into the most horrible blackness: Into death." - Arthur Rimbaud

"Suicide is the punctuation mark at the end of many artistic careers" - Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

"To make yourself something less than you can be - that too is a form of suicide" - Benjamin Lichtenberg

Exctly like this:

"Whereas a prolonged life is not necessarily better, a prolonged death is necessarily worse."
Seneca

My death at least will be quick, and far better than many and completely in my control, other I now will have to rot from the indide out. Worse I think..

My mother told me once, late into my teen when I was in intensive care after an intentional drug overdose, that my child psychiatrist told her when I was six that I would always be a risk of suicide and that I would have to be watched closely. He was right. Something due to birth trama he said.

Suicide is a near constant theme in my mind. And this weekend, I am alone and the suicidal voice is louder than it has ever been, so I am certain I will not survive the the afternoon. I have already taken enough drugs that my alreadt weakened liver will shut down very soon and I am off to find a place to hide and die.

I a tired. I am tired of feeling the same feelings and experiencing the same experiences. It is time to move on and see what is next if anything.

Enough is enough.

Oh and BTW, the mind is a maximum hypersurface and thought a trajectory on it and the amygdala and hippocampus are Hopf maps of it. No one knew this before me, and it seems no one cares. So be it. My time will come in a hundred or a thousand years when the idea again returns.

This Luis Vuitton, Parada, Mont Blanc commercial universe is not for me. If only I was loved as much a Mont Blac pen...