ST. LOUIS--
What is SUPERCOOL??
SUPER COOL is a popular energy plasma ingested by teens in other
galaxies. it gives them superhuman strength, and on rare occasions,
the ability to fly. Caution: SUPERCOOL takes ten years off your life
everytime you use it. Most people can only do it about seven times
before they expire prematurely. Otherwise it's a blast!
Messages from Victims of SUPERCOOL
hello there little peoples whom get this lil' messgae thing. This is
your friend WhiteRainbow warning you about Supercool. Stay AWAY FROM
SUPERCOOL. The student bodie doesnt get it, please help your children
through this crisis. THIS IS NOT A JOKE! Your children could die in
YOUR arms!! Thanks!
I need help. I'm not sure how to address the subject but I am currently
addicted to supercool. I don't know how to stop. I see that there are others
out there who once used it and now don't, I need to be like that. I need
my life back. I didn't think that supercool would be addicting, but everyday
I sit here at work just wishing I had some supercool to do. I need to be
supercool. PLEASE HELP, I NEED ADVICE.
LETTER FROM AN EX-SUPERCOOL ADDICT.
I WAS JUST LIKE YOU. I
THOUGHT IT WAS COOL GOING TO PARTIES AND GET "SUPED-UP" ON SUPERCOOL
WITH ALL MY FRIENDS. IT WAS A LOT OF FUN, AT FIRST, BUT NOW I WISHED I
NEVER SAW THE STUFF.
THE FIRST TIME I TRIED IT WAS WITH MY FRIEND
CHUGGER. SEE, HIS DAD WORKS FOR THE PENTAGON AND HE HAD A WHOLE BARREL
OF IT IN HIS BASEMENT. CHUGGER'S PARENTS WERE IN BERMUDA ON VACATION
AND WE WERE TRYING TO FIND THE OLDMAN'S SCOTCH WHEN WE CAME ACROSS A
GLOWING CONTAINER MARKED, "SUPER-ENERGY PLASMA". SO ME AND CHUGGER
DECIDED TO DRINK SOME. IT WAS FREAKY! ALL OF SUDDEN I STARTED TO FEEL
ALL STRONG AND SH*T AND CHUGGER STARTED TO FLOAT. SO WE BOTH WENT
OUTSIDE AND STARTED TO FLY. IT WAS GREAT! WE FLEW TO THE MALL AND AS A
JOKE, WE PICKED UP PEOPLE'S CARS AND SPELLED OUT DIRTY WORDS WITH THEM
IN THE PARKING LOT. THEN WE SET FIRE TO OURSELVES AND RAN AROUND THE
NEIGHBORHOOD SCREAMING., "HELP WE'RE ON FIRE!" EVERYTIME SOMEONE TRIED
TO PUT US OUT WE'D RUNAWAY AND THE FIRE DEPARTMENT CHASED US ALL OVER
TOWN. IT WAS A BLAST.
AFTER THAT WE STARTED CALLING THE STUFF
"SUPERCOOL" AND ALL SUMMER WE HAD SUPERCOOL PARTIES. ALL OUR BUDS
WOULD COME OVER AND WE'D PLAY ULTIMATE FRISBEE WITH SEWER CAPS OR A
BUNCH OF US WOULD FLY UP TO A JUMBO JET AND SIT ON THE WING AND FREAK
THE PASSENGERS OUT. OR SOMETIMES ME AND CHUGGER WOULD FLY UP TO MOUNT
RUSHMORE AND DRINK URANIUM SHAKES AND PLAY CATCH WITH TEDDY
ROOSEVELT'S HEAD. BUT THEN, AFTER A FEW WEEKS, I NOTICED SOMETHING
WEIRD WHEN I LOOKED IN THE MIRROR. I WAS GETTING OLD. MY HAIR WAS
COMPLETELY GRAIR AND WAS STARTING TO FALL OUT. I FELT TIRED ALL OF THE
TIME. CHUGGER'S SKIN ALL LOOSE AND LEATHERY AND COVERED WITH LIVER
SPOTS. AND HE WAS ALWAYS COMPLAINING ABOUT HIS RHEUMATISM. IT SUCKED
BUT WE KEPT ON GETTING SUPED-UP AND WE KEPT ON GETTING OLDER
TOO.
AFTER ABOUT SIX OR SEVEN TIMES WE DISCOVERED THAT DOING SUPERCOOL
MADE YOU LIKE TEN YEARS OLDER EVERYTIME YOU DID IT. WE TRIED TO WARN
OUR BUDDY KEVIN ABOUT IT, BUT HE JUST KEPT ON DOING IT. HE MUST HAVE
DONE IT LIKE TEN TIMES. ON THE ELEVENTH TIME HE JUST TURNED INTO A
PILE OF DUST! AFTER THAT, WE FINALLY STOPPED DOING IT. NOW ME AND
CHUGGER ARE SENIORS AND WE'RE LIKE EIGHTY YEARS OLD. IT REALLY SUCKS.
EVERYONE MAKES FUN OF US. SO TAKE MY ADVICE AND JUST SAY "NO" TO
SUPERCOOL. SURE IT GIVES YOU SUPERHUMAN STRENGTH AND SOMETIMES YOU
CAN FLY. BUT BEING OLD IS REALLY UNCOOL.
SUPER COOL IS TEARING AWAY AT THE MORAL THREADS OF OUR SOCIETY. A LONG
STANDING EPIDEMIC, SUPER COOL HAS BEEN RESPONSIBLE FOR MANY OF THE
TRAGEDIES THAT WE SEE IN OUR DAILY LIVES. OUR SOCIETY HAS HAD ITS BATTLES
WITH PCP, COCAINE, AND CRACK AND WE'VE FOUND OUT THE HARM THEY'VE DONE.
SO NOW IS THE TIME FOR ACTION. WE NEED YOU TO HELP FIND OUT "WHAT IS SUPER
COOL?"
CALL UP THE MEDIA.
ASK THEM:
"WHY HAVEN'T WE HEARD MORE ABOUT SUPER COOL?"
"WHAT'S BEING DONE TO STOP THIS EPIDEMIC?"
"WHY AREN'T YOU DOING MORE STORIES ON THE TRAGEDY CAUSED BY SUPER COOL?"
WE DESERVE AN ANSWER. YOU CAN GET ONE. CALL THESE MEDIA OUTLETS AND ASK
THEM.
SALLY JESSY RAPHAEL - 212-244-3595 xt. 58 or 13
LARRY KING LIVE - 1-800-676-2100
MONTEL WILLIAMS - 212-989-8101
IMUS SHOW - 1-800-370-4687- 5:00AM-10:00AM
RICKI LAKE - 1-800-467-4254
TALK BACK LIVE - 1-800-510-5226
BILL MAYSER SHOW 212-244-1050 -5:30AM-10:00AM
NEW YORK & COMPANY 212-669-8460
SAM GREENFIELD SHOW 212-244-1050 9PM-11PM
ON THE MEDIA - 212-669-8110 4PM-5PM
OTHER STATIONS
LET US KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE. SEND US TAPES FROM YOUR ON AIR BROADCAST OR
PHONE CONVERSATION. WE WANT TO HEAR WHAT YOU FIND OUT.
kband@kband.com
developed from
UCB's
Agent Mission Feed
--R. K. Jamesson, M.D., Medical Correspondent
January 20, 1999
