I'm organizing a panel for the NYC Grassroots Media Conference, February 27-29 at the New School.
My panel is on using pranks and parody for social change (details TBA). Speakers will include: Carrie Moyer and Sue Schaffner from Dyke Action Machine, who you may remember from the Illegal Art Exhibit; Jonah Peretti (Nike sweatshop prankster and co-creator of BlackPeopleLoveUs.com); and the Yes Men, whose projects include masquerading as members of the WTO and promoting the benfits of slavery at world trade conferences. Stay Free! will also be tabling throughout the conference so be sure to drop by and say hi.
NOT FOOLING ANYBODY: A CHRONICLE OF BAD CONVERSIONS AND STOREFRONTS PAST
While it is often said that somewhere in America a new McDonalds is opening
every 30 minutes, you never hear about them closing. But thanks to my friend
Liz Clayton, we now have a outlet for documenting yet another ill of our
fast food nation: crimes against architecture and design.
Liz compiled this nifty photo archive of businesses housed in what were formerly fast food restaurants and other chains. A Taco Bell transformed into local middle-eastern restaurant,
a KFC morphed into a liquor store, a Chinese Hut that bears an uncanny
resemblance to Pizza Hut: it's all here. Some conversions are clearly more
successful than others. Quality Properties Real Estate, for example, is
barely recognizable as a former Burger King. But Best of Philly Cheesesteaks
didn't even remove the Taco Bell logo from its street sign!
Liz is always looking for more photos for her archives so if you've got any
good (bad) examples in your town, email submissions@notfoolinganybody.com.
the tattoo shop here in singapore is on the 2nd floor, and directly across the street on the 2nd level is a strange little chinatown gay bar, with a home-made spray-painted rainbow flag out front. against the back wall of the bar is a floor to ceiling, life size poster that creeps the fuck out of me every time i look out the window. it has an adult asian guy wearing short cut-off shorts sitting, with impecable posture, sitting on a foot-stool. then, standing in front of him somewhat between his knees is a teenage boy, also in cut-off shorts. the picture is taken from slightly below them, so behind their heads, you just see blue sky and clouds. they have strange nazi-esque intent gazes, looking upward and away, with chests slightly inflated....save for the costumes, it looks like some weird heroic pedophile flash gordon.....sucks about the whole cold thing you've got over there...i can't even imagine what snow feels like right now....it's hot here, but not too bad, it certainly hasn't got shit on houston.....i'm figuring out the food thing here, trying to map out where the nearest restraunts are that are palatable....the local food here in chinatown is definitely out....i stuck it out for a bit just to do as romans do, but they fucking eat the most horrible food in china. everything is fried or so drenched in oil that you feel dirty and used afterwards...also, and i really can't figure this one out,....they only eat the worst parts of an animal....like pork....what the fuck is wrong with the chops?.....or a thigh...there's good meat there...no, they fucking talk me into eating pork knucke, and every where you go you see fried porkskin and pigsfeet,,, and of course chicken feet and wings are everywhere....don't ask me what the fuck they do with all the drumsticks and breasts, because i haven't seen any...if you took them to a taqueria, they'd probably buy a burrito, and then only eat the foil wrapper...anyway, it goes on and on....fish head soup, turtle feet soup, (have you ever looked at a turtles feet and thought to yourself, damn....look at all that meat? of course not..)...pork stomach, chicken livers.....shit looks like fishing bait not food.....anyhow, that's my birch...other than that, loving life as usual...
yours,
scott
yesterday a customer came in the shop looking to get tattooed. He was a scrawny indian guy, maybe late 20's, early 30's....old enough to know better, fair skinned, and vibrating with impatience. he was donned in an imitation polo button up, tucked into khaki shorts, but only in the front, and hot pink flip flops. the conversation went as follows:
him: yes, hello, are you have pentagram?
me: yeah, i can probably rustle one up for you somewhere, how big do you want it?
him: (takes off shirt to reveal giand goat-head tattoo on back) yes, to fit above tattoo here, going onto my neck.
me: ok, let me draw something up for you....
him: (3 seconds after i sit down and start drawing) excuse me can you make some bloody red there also, i want to make it ultimate evil.
me: sure pal, no problem. why, back home the usually call me scott "the ultimate evil" campbell
him: in new york you are much evil?
me: no, i think they just say that because i don't shower very often.
him: i don't understand.
me: yeah, me neither.
(fifteen minutes later while i'm tattooing him)
me: so, you're into this whole satan thing, huh?
him: satan?...yes i am worshiping satan
me: cool.... how's that working out for you?..
him: very fun, much evil
me: did satan tell you to wear those shoes?...
him: no, my wife buy these in chinatown....
me: i think that maybe satan and your wife are just messing with you......
him: i think you are messing with me.
me: hey man, don't kill the messenger....
him: "the messenger"...i see this movie...american movie, very good...
me: yeah, ....it was an allright movie....i think milla jojovich is a pretty horrible actress....
him: i think more pretty with long hair.....in the movie she is cutting her hair short, very ugly...
me: yeah, i don't know why she did that, i think satan told her to do it.....
him: i like very much satan....
me: of course you do....
hey folks,
work was good yesterday, i think i'm not going to work every single day, but it seems that there are as many people wanting tattoos as i want...it's all custom of course, so much homework, but it feels good because i don't have anything to do but draw pictures.....i did a really nice jap demon thing yesterday from this guys knee to ankle.....sort of hanya thing with a shroud and a skull and windy maple leaf stuff around....i told niccku to set the prices, because he knows the money better than i, ....so after he handed me $600 bucks and said he doesn't want a %, he just wants me to help him with some technical stuff while i'm here..finally someone who appreciates me for more than just my good looks....i had to show him how to use his own thermofax machine, which he's been feeding the paper into upside down for the past 2 years.....last night at about midnight he took me out to some crazy discotec ...i asked for a vodka soda there and i think they just poured a glass of soda water and then rubbed it against the bottle of vodka, it was a pretty lousy excuse for liquor....the place was pretty obnoxious, but it was really fun, in the same way that going to the zoo is fun.....there were a few round-eyes there, which were a painful reminder of how genetically doomed we are to inheirit a lineage of bad dancers.....anyhow, it's sunday so we're going to the beach.....(which will be fun for everyone else there, in the same way that going to the zoo is fun)....
all my love...
scott
apparently, i gave niccku, my host the wrong date for my flight, so he wasn't expecting me i until the next day....so there i was at the airport...no one was there to meet me, and i had no sing (singapore dollars) with which to take a cab or pay for a hotel. i spent the night on the floor of what is boasted as being the nicest airport in the world....( it really is nice....it had a swimming pool)...anyhow, at 6am i finally got some sing in my pocket, but i couldn't get to the address or phone number of niccku until the internet place opened at 10am, so i opted to wander chinatown in the meantime....with a barrage of little singaporeans trying to sell me an ocean of useless crap, i'm amazed i head the little woman pushing her way through the crowd yelling "new york! new york!" at me. she finally made it over to me and grabbed my arm and wouldn't let go...she turned out to be niccku's grandmother, and she didn't let go of me until i was released into niccku's custody...small world when you're a 6 foot tattooed guy in singapore.....
so, to combat the jet lag, i got up this morning, and ran my ass off.....it felt good to be exhausted after 2 frustrating days of somehow being tired and restless at the same time. Then niccku took me to breakfast. we sat in an open-air cafeteria fashioned after an airport parking garage,i'm still not sure what i ate. noodles sprinkled with little tiny crunchy fish and the hottest of hot sauces, accompanied by a half-cooked egg in a bowl, which you're supposed to pour this almost black brown syrup onto, mix together into a dark brown yolky slime, and drink....it's niccku's favorite....we differ in opinions on many things....
then we went to the beach, where i swam like the dickens and farted into the south china sea.
now i'm back at the shop, finished my drawing, and am waiting for my first client to show up...
i feel like a rock-star here....yesterday niccku took me around to all the other tattoo shops in town to play show and tell with his very own american tattooer....i still haven't paid for anything, they won't let me....anyhow, my guy just showed up, but more to come....
yours,
scott