A forward:
MURPHY'S LAW
"Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong."
MURPHY'S LAW EXTENDED
"If a series of events can go wrong, it will do so in the worst possible sequence."
MURPHY'S PARADOX
"Doing it the hard way is always easier."
MURPHY'S FIRST COROLLARY
"Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first."
MURPHY'S SECOND COROLLARY
"Nature always sides with the hidden flaw."
MURPHY'S THIRD COROLLARY
"It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious."
MURPHY'S LAW OF THERMODYNAMICS
"Things get worse under pressure."
O'TOOLE'S COMMENTARY ON MURPHY'S LAW
"Murphy was an optimist."
SILVERMAN'S PARADOX
"If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will."
GATUSSO'S EXTENSION OF MURPHY'S LAW
"Nothing is ever so bad that it can't get worse."
FIRST POSTULATE OF ISO-MURPHISM
"Things equal to nothing else are equal to each other."
BEAGLE'S QUANTUM ADJUSTMENT TO MURPHY
"Everything that can go wrong, has gone wrong already. It just hasn't happened yet."
BEAGLE'S LAW OF MATERNAL PRECOGNITION
"Why tell your mother what you did? She already knows."
BEAGLE'S FIRST LAW OF MATERIAL COEXISTENCE
"A square peg will fit into any round hole if traveling at sufficient velocity."
BEAGLE'S FOURTH IDEOLOGICAL INSIGHT
"Size does matter. The bigger your education, the deeper your paradigm."
BEAGLE'S PARADIGM SHIFT NUMBER ONE (with apologies to Newton)
"A belief in motion tends to stay in motion, in a straight line, at a uniform rate of acceptance, unless acted upon by outside facts."
BEAGLE'S FIRST LAW OF GOVERNANCE
"Tyranny expands to fill the amount of passivity available for its implementation."
BEAGLE'S SECOND LAW OF GOVERNANCE
"Tyranny is neither created nor destroyed, it just changes suits."
BEAGLE'S THIRD LAW OF GOVERNANCE
"The result of an irresistible freedom force meeting an immovable tyrannical object is, well, revolution."
BEAGLE'S FOURTH LAW OF GOVERNANCE
"The desire for freedom varies inversely with the number of cable channels available."
FINAGLE'S FOURTH LAW
"Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse."
FELSON'S LAW
"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research."
SOULDER'S LAW
"Repetition does not establish validity."
HECHT'S FOURTH LAW
"There's no time like the present for postponing what you don't want to do."
MAYNE'S LAW
"Nobody notices the big errors."
WRIGHT'S FIRST LAW OF QUALITY
"Quality is inversely proportional to the time left for completion of the project."
STEINER'S MAXIM
"The fact that you do not know the answer does not mean that someone else does."
GUMMIDGE'S LAW
"The amount of expertise varies in inverse proportion to the number of statements understood by the general public."
DOOLEY'S LAW
"Trust everybody, but cut the cards."
BRALEK'S RULE FOR SUCCESS
"Trust only those who stand to lose as much as you do when things go wrong."
SCHMIDT'S LAW
"If you mess with a thing long enough, it will break."
HOARE'S LAW OF LARGE PROBLEMS
"Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out."
CAPTAIN PENNY'S LAW
"You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can't fool MOM."
DISMONI'S RULE OF COGNITION
"Believing is seeing."
HANE'S LAW
"There is no limit to how bad things can get."
PERUSSEL'S LAW
"There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrong."
LOFTUS' FIFTH LAW OF MANAGEMENT
"Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even what book."
SWEENEY'S LAW
"The length of a progress report is inversely proportional to the amount of progress."
RUDNICKI'S NOBEL PRINCIPLE
"Only someone who understands something absolutely can explain it so no one else can understand it."
JACOBSON'S LAW
"The less work an organization produces, the more frequently it reorganizes."
FIRST LAW OF LIVING
"As soon as you're doing what you wanted to be doing, you want to be doing something else."
BARUCH'S ORGANIZATIONAL PRINCIPLE
"If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail."
FOX ON PROBLEMATICS
"When a problem goes away, the people working to solve it do not."
FARNSDICK'S COROLLARY
"After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself."
DUCHARM'S AXIOM
"If one views his problem closely enough, he will recognize himself as part of the problem."
HALDANE'S LAW
"The universe is not only queerer than we suppose, it's queerer than we CAN suppose."
MRS. WEILER'S LAW
"Anything is edible if chopped finely enough."
SIMON'S LAW
"Everything put together falls apart sooner or later."
LIPPPMAN'S LEMMA
"People specialize in their area of greatest weakness."
AIGNER'S AXIOM
"No matter how well you perform your job, a superior will seek to modify the results."
RUCKERT'S LAW
There is nothing so small that it can't be blown out of proportion."
JENKIN'S CONUNDRUM
"The unaware are unaware of being unaware."