On Saturday evening I spent 45 minutes dressing up for the World Naked Bike Ride. I was the organizer for Victoria and it looked like we were going to have a huge crowd given the amount of emails I had been getting from people, nudists especially.
I had been warned about organizing nudists. They’re a weird bunch. Too friendly. Too eager to talk about being naked. Like Christian fundamentalists. They have that look in their eyes like they’ve found the answer and want to share it with you, naked. Apparently they try to get naked in public all the time but can’t organize themselves for an actual event. But I had heard word an entire colony of them were coming from a town nearby (children and all) to participate in the ride.
Unfortunately it rained and was freezing. Only 16 people showed. But we were all amped and ready to rock out buck. In the end, we were a group of naked cyclists and one clothed nudist. Someone made a joke about them being “fair weather nudists” and someone else observed in all earnestness that “they’re not really nudists, they’re sun worshiping pagans.”
There were two cops there trying to find the organizer and I told them the whole point was that no one was leading anything. My friend Josh then saw fit to tell them I was the organizer and they gave me the cop talk about keeping in line and not harassing tourists. Of course we did neither.
We biked around the busiest spots of the city and the crowds loved us. Only a few people gave dirty looks and thousands of people cheered and seemed thrilled that we were biking by naked. We chanted, “don’t use gass, show your ass” and anything else anyone could rhyme with “ass” (there's a lot). I made up the cheer, “What do clothes and cars have in common? They both start with “c” and they suck!” but it didn’t catch on. Not wanting to waste the opportunity that was afforded by being at the center of attention, we also started yelling things like “don’t waste water” and “be nicer to animals.”
The whole thing was hilarious and I couldn’t stop laughing. I tried to give a speech to the media about how “we are em-bare-assed about the global dependency on fossil fuels” but digressed into hysterics and pointing at people’s butts as they smashed around their bike seats. Apparently the nightly news cameras zoomed in on my butt as we biked away and a friend said he now knows where three more of my stars are. In the end, I realized how much more comfortable I am being a spectacle than a bystander.
We had great articles before and after in the Times Colonist but they’re offline. I’m trying to get them digitally and can then post them.
And photos are being posted here: http://photos.groups.yahoo.com/group/worldnakedbikeride/lst?.dir=/Victoria&.view=t
Check back in the future for more.
Please let me know when the ride is and if you need any help. I was thinking if a geto blaster this year. TKS Dave
Posted by: Dave at February 11, 2005 04:18 PM