Tonight Canada lost the Stanley cup to Tampa Bay and I watched my first hockey game ever. The report back is that hockey is great. The players all have beards and smash each other into walls and are totally hot and get all bloody. The only drawback is that they have on these huge pads so you can’t watch the beauty of bodies in motion like with ballet or basketball. I bet 5 bucks on the Americans for posterity but I really did feel bad for the Canadians because I don’t know one American who even knew we had the Stanley Cup before that (we’ve had it for years) much less cared about keeping it. Plus the irony of a hockey team from Florida is just too much to handle. Although one Canadian did tell me that if they were truly patriotic they would be going for Tampa because there are more Canadians on that team than on the Canadian one. The US buys all Canadian players and the Canadians buy Russians. It sort of makes sense if you think about it.
But the really funny thing about the Stanley Cup is the actual Stanley Cup. It’s huge. And it has to be, they inscribe the name of every player on the team that wins it every year so they keep on adding all these rings to the bottom to make room. Once the winning team actually wins and is presented with the cup there is a lot of fanfare over “hoisting” the cup. Each player takes a turn to hoist the cup over his head, kiss it, and possibly skate around in a circle yelling something. I was hoping someone would start making out with the cup as a joke but it didn’t happen. Everyone says “hoist” over and over and it makes you think of what a funny word “hoist” is. The guys who actually present the cup wear white gloves (the sterile kind, not the classy kind) and I’m sure there is some completely elaborate sterilization process the cup goes through each year before everyone starts kissing it. After the game, the entire team shares the cup throughout the year. They pass it from player to player. But the cup itself has been stolen in the past so it has a keeper who comes along with it. It is this man’s job to take care of the cup, so if you have it at your house, you have to let the keeper live with you as well. This strikes me as hilarious and you know he’s got great stories to tell. In addition, the whole hockey thing is operated by the government (ah, socialism) so it’s taxpayer money going to pay this guy to protect the cup. It’s such the classic sacred object, endowed with all this magical power, and men must prove themselves to get access to it. I neglected to mention this to the room.
I watched the game with three guys drinking beer and eating chips and BBQ like I felt I should. At one point, of course, I asked why they thought no black people ever play hockey and this one guy who was actually quite smart answered that black people are usually from very warm climates and the ice is simply too cold for them. There was no descent in the room. I just sort of sat there thinking for a while. It’s so odd, to be in an entirely white culture. Bizarre actually. They're not racist per se, just completely clueless. I’m sure they all think black people are very cool. I’ve even heard the phrase “African Canadian” thrown around a few times. It’s funny. Later I asked the guy if that was really what he believed and another guy chimed in with the simple fact that hockey gear and access to a rink is hundreds of dollars generally. I’m sure I have all kinds of ignorance from living in New England and New York (I know I do) but it’s fun to see other people’s.
Later we went down to the water for a walk and there were seals just hanging out and no one seemed to care but me. There were literally thousands of crabs running all over the rocks, so much so, that each step was sure to kill one. Which made walking quite difficult and a moral dilemma. Did I need to walk there so bad that it was worth the lives of these crabs? I felt like a Janist (those people who don’t walk on grass and wear cloths over their mouths so bugs don’t fly in and die). But then it became obvious that all of life involves the taking of other lives. It’s silly to pretend otherwise and almost disrespectful. Which is one of the reasons I am so down with eating meat these days. Who am I to pretend I am not killing things and why should these crabs be worth less than a cow? Because they're small? Or not as smart? Regardless, I spent a lot of time in one place and it made me have a great realization.
At first I was chasing the little crabs all over, catching cute ones and playing with them. If there is anything cuter than watching a tiny crab rear up and try and frighten me, I don’t know what it is. So of course they were all running away from me. But then I just sat very still and watched them and they got so much closer than when I had been chasing them. Which is a great way to see animals all over: don’t hike through the woods, just find a nice spot and sit there for a few hours, they’ll come by and might even try to check you out. I had my hand in the water when I was sitting there and one little crab came up and started gently pinching me. I thought it was trying to hurt me but it turned out to be eating something on my hand, possibly dead skin. Soon other crabs came and were all eating my hand, fighting over my hand actually. It was hilarious, to be eaten by crabs. It was also so nice because I didn’t need that dead skin. I would love to go diving and get my teeth cleaned by one of those shrimp who have mouth cleaning stations for large fish. Maybe it’s my female urges coming to the fore but it’s really cool to be able to actually produce food myself for other organisms other than bacteria. I really wanna do an art project where I photograph all the organisms living off my body, like the mites in my eyelashes or the E. Coli in my lower intestine. It’s really neat to think of the body itself as an ecosystem, a very diverse one, for such a host of life. I need a dog. The end.
Posted by bluprnt at June 8, 2004 01:59 PMeveryone needs a dog
Posted by: laoh at June 10, 2004 10:02 PM