I just got to Montréal and yes, I am spending my first night staring at a computer. It’s raining ok? Plus I have work to procrastinate from...
Anyways, I am writing for a reason. I haven't really been keeping up with the news outside of having Drudge Report as my homepage. But of course I cannot escape the images of Iraqi prisoners. At first they did not shock me in the slightest. I was hardly surprised. This is war. The very idea that they could train people to kill within certain boundaries and then expect them to act like civilized humans outside of those boundaries is laughable. Far more heinous things are happening to people in Iraq than being stripped and photographed (gunned down while wounded comes to mind). Regardless, all of it, it’s war and it's what we tried to prevent and now that it’s here we should not pretend we didn’t know what it entailed. Maybe Dubya had no idea what it entailed.
It has only really been today though, that the true weight of the world has fallen up my mind as the international opinions of the US and us within it became apparent. All day the images have been thrust in my face and a real shame has descended with them.
I got in a cab from the air port to go to the hostel and started a conversation with the Lebanese driver. We talked of riding bikes (he had just learned) and visiting forests (he had never been and would only go with someone who was a "professional". He told me about thousand year old cedars in Lebanon and how they put them on their flag. He asked me where I was coming from and of course I said Victoria. I started telling stories about New York and he said, "you’re not American are you?" I’ve never in my life done this before but I completely lied and said no fucking way. At this point, I am just embarrassed. I can’t believe us. Not just the administration, but you and me. Going on about our lives while this stuff goes on. We don’t have the right. It’s inappropriate.
Normally I totally represent those of us lefties from the States and feel that it is very important that people from other countries know there are people on the inside fighting the fight. But today I completely understood his hate. I felt it too.
In Victoria, people in general can be quite ignorant. I loath their opinions of Americans. They have no idea. I welcome, solicit, and engage in intelligent critique of American culture but it’s a form of social climbing to bitch about us in Victoria. So I could dismiss it. But now that I’m here, I see it’s everywhere. I almost got kicked out of my hostel because I wasn’t a Canadian citizen. Again, I had told them I was "coming" from Victoria and apparently they had meant to ask my nationality. I had to prove to them I was studying here and working for the greater good of Canadians. I went to my room and had a nice chat with a Scottish woman till I said I was American and she promptly left the room. I went to the common room and a bunch of Europeans were sitting around talking about how they would not visit the States right now.
So I guess my point is that we’re hated. Not just Bush, but us. And I can’t dismiss it all the way anymore. I’m not a turn coat. I still think we/I should reprazent our people. And I will, it was just that once. But I genuinely feel ashamed about being an American today. And fucking hell it makes me angry.
So the next obvious point is that the onus is now on us. We cannot allow this administration to continue. It is our responsibility as citizens to stop it. It was our lazy asses who let democracy slide by the wayside and a bunch of crazies come to power. It’s us reaping the benefits of the economic system built on slavery and occupation. It is our responsibility. I know I sound like a Weatherman and I hope you know I’m not. But we cannot rely on the rest of the world anymore.
Personally, I am going to be at the Republican National Convention and I am going to shut it down. I am going to take it very seriously. I think we need to show the world that Americans are not all ignorant and complacent. I hope you’ll come with me and I hope you can think of better things to do in the mean time. Any ideas let me know.
Posted by bluprnt at May 11, 2004 06:21 PM