kband: bluprnt 4 rvolution

talking about very interesting bullshit

I'm going to start the discussion group for the article I ranted about on
Friday night tomorrow.

I really do find it fascinating. I reread it and you've got to wonder if
it's a communiqué directly from the propaganda desk of The Man himself. The
study they did to determine if women were sexually responsive to the pill is
hysterical.

Picture it:

A white lab in a basement of some hospital.

Five women sitting in chairs with their legs in stirrups, spread eagle, with gauges stuck to their vaginas to keep track of blood flow.

Most likely, if their are Pfizer's target group, they are married, middle age women, possibly slightly overweight, have trouble feeling sexy, and maybe need a little extra cash seeing as they did sign consent forms to do this. Their husbands no doubt complain about their lack of desire and possibly wetness. Maybe they worry the men will leave. Maybe they're sick of sex being boring, and don‚t have the option not to have it. But maybe they just want to feel young and vital again, who knows. All the women feel like there is something wrong with them. All of them think it could be solved with a pill.

So they find themselves, again, in a lab, in a chair, with things strapped on to that very organ that's been giving them all this trouble and most likely remains a source of mystery to them.

The very nice female nurse leaves the room and switches off the light.

The TV in front of them clicks on to begin the romance of some hulking man and a woman who is no doubt blond. I'm guessing Pfizer has allowed the women to choose their own type of pornography, "Now, Mrs. Fitzpatrick, would you prefer the 70's classic Deep Throat‚ or something with a little more anal play?"

The scientists could not allow one of those female-friendly new releases with a plot line and no silicon, lest this induce feelings of intimacy that would complicate that raw "desire" aroused in all healthy people at the sight of waxed, tanned, taught, white flesh getting banged by the cheerleading coach, someone else in a position of authority, or her twin sister.

Mrs. Fitzpatrick sits back and tries to relax like the nurse told her to.

She watches the woman moaning while getting it from behind and thinks to herself that she doesn‚t look like she's enjoying it that much. She thinks about her husband taking her from behind and how she doesn't like it much either. And all that moaning, is that really necessary? She thinks about the wires attached to her vagina. She's glad she shaved before coming in. She wonders if she should take yoga. She wonders if the Stevensons are coming for dinner tonight. She returns to the wires attached to her vagina. Now the guy is going down on the girl in the movie. That type of thing has never appealed to her. It would just make her uncomfortable. Plus it would be really messy. And who would want to stick their face there anyway? She thinks about the wires...

The nurse returns.

"Hi there Mrs. Fitzpatrick, did everything go OK? Good. Now, can you tell me, how much do you want to engage in intercourse right now, on a scale of 1 to 10?"

OBVIOUSLY, there must be something wrong with Mrs. Fitzpatrick. How could she possibly not want to jump into bed after that sultry scenario? What she needs is security, intimacy, and yes, some well-timed coaxing.

Not that I'm implying that there are no differences between men and women. There are. But Pfizer has no idea what they are. So yeah--if you want to discuss the ins and outs of male and female sexuality, let me know and you can be in the club.

Posted by bluprnt at March 8, 2004 09:54 PM