David Brooks is pretty repellent, but he does know how to write. In a happy alternative universe, instead of being a corrosive political pundit, he'd be doing the NYC alt-comedy scene, ragging on Williamsburg, Whole Foods, fat people, European models, MOMA/Queens, and struggling with his ongoing drinking/coke problem until finally embracing his sexuality while getting random bit parts in Law and Order episodes or Conan O'Brien skits.