Thank you, Wem, Mire... even you, Cunctator. For you see, I have been waiting for this moment for years. Waiting for the secret password to be uttered. And now, it has been - with the utterance of "crullers," years of memories have come flooding back. And now I have all the evidence I need... to CRUSH THE CUNCTATOR!!!!!

That's right - I have deduced his secret identity. The Cunctator is none other than Dick Cheney's clone - the SuperCheney! Years ago, I served on the secret Senate committe that approved funding for the project to clone Cheney, and turn that clone into a super-soldier, dedicated to keeping the world in a state of chaos. In order to protect my own sanity, I had myself hypnotized to block out the information until the secret keyword was given...

There's more to this case. Much, much more. And it shall all be revealed in due time. For now, though, I think this picture says it all.