Thank goodness for the Beirut Guide. For what else would we do if we wanted to play 2-ball, 12-cup double-triangle (plus satellites) 3-cup overtime no-paddle beer pong with empty cup replacement, consolidation by row, errors, knock-over, luck, and called shots, but no bounce shots, distractions, defensive blowing, or spin defense allowed, and spoils of war in effect?

Of course, if that were what we wanted to play we would want to kill ourselves forthwith. The allure of beer pong eludes. Sour grapes due to lack of opportunity? Perhaps. Speaking of which, we'll stick to wine.